"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience." Ephesians 2:1-2
I've been a little delinquent lately with keeping up with my verses. I don't really believe in excuses, so I'll stick to reasons. My reasons were being overworked and then wrestling with some disappointment. The latter was in the form of not being accepted to the PhD program that I've been working towards for months. It was disappointing and it was surprising. I felt very (overly) confident about my chances. I believed I had what it took. I also made the mistake of telling God that if He didn't want me to be in that program that He should shut that door. Well, its not a done deal, but God certainly got my attention with that one. But I digress.
Anyway, the whole thing made me realize how much stock I put in how others evaluate me. All week I was feeling very confident. I believed in myself and my skills as a counselor. Then this news, and all of a sudden I began to doubt everything about myself. And all for what? I get firm direction from the Lord about something? I am still so invested in the course of this world. I realize how much my life is guided by how I feel in any given moment. I know I am probably more susceptible to this type of thinking than many. All the more reason why I need the Lord.
The course of this world vs. the way of the cross. May Your will be done.
by the will of God,
Jonathan
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3 comments:
Honey!
I love you so incredibly much. You are such an amazing man. I'm sorry about the news (or lack there of) at the start of our weekend. I know how much everyone (including myself) felt so strongly you were in the program before you even went for you interview and I'm sorry for the added pressure that created. I don't know what God has instore for us Jon, but I'm excited! As we await the arrival of our little one, I'm overwhelmed with excitement (and well... discomfort) for what is next for the Stubes. I love you and I believe in you! In whatever lies ahead- God has the MOST perfect plan!! Love you!
Hey Bro,
Sorry to have left you out cold in blogosphere. Things got busy here too.
Also I'm sorry you were turned down for the program. I'm sure it was quite an emotional/mental investment. This sure is an opportunity for you to reflect though and I see you have already begun. May I suggest Psalm 127? It has always served as a great reminder for me regarding the goal and object of some task or endeavor. As you can imagine, when I was remodeling it was perfect, but it is a great analogy otherwise.
Maybe you should try PITT? I know some good people in the area...:) I'm sure our presence could never overcome attending that "university" though.
grace and peace brother
p.s. my profile pic is from Geoff's wedding, thought you'd like that
Hi Phil,
Thanks for your encouragement and for coming back to reading the blog. It makes me wish I had some lectio type stuff of yours to read and comment on. You are a true brother. I would love to go to Pitt, but mostly so that we could be in the same place again. Miss you, brother.
By the way, I do indeed love the picture. I remember sipping wine and sharing laughs at that wedding. Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?
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